Stewart-Warren syndrome

Stewart-Warren syndrome (SWS) is a rare disorder named after its first patient Former SCOTUS Chief Justice Stewart. The disorder was named and classified by Attorney General James Bauer in 2005.

Symptoms
Symptoms include: illiteracy, inability to comprehend hypothetical situations, poor skills relating to mathematics, split personality disorder and/or social awkwardness and asexual reproduction.

Its first patient SCOTUS Chief Justice Stewart experienced all of the listed symptoms. Its asexual offspring was Earl Warren. Senator Hayes S John has also been diagnosed with moderate SWS. Presidential Candidate Tucker Carlson and HoR candidate Jacob are also possibly affected by the syndrome.

Symptoms begin appearing as early as 2 months old, and get more severe as time goes on. A 12-year old with SWS will have all symptoms of the syndrome, and by 15 will have severe side-affects from their syndrome.

The syndrome seems to be prevalent among Republicans, although it is not impossible for a Democrat or an Independent to be diagnosed with it.

Diagnosis
SWS can be easily diagnosed by the general public, and does not need an official diagnosis.

Cure
The only known cure for SWS is to retire from public life for 2-4 months, seek therapeutic help, and increase literacy skills via literacy classes and attending mandatory education. SWS patients may also be advised to grow a brain through artificial or natural means. If these cures do not work, permanent retirement from public life will be required from the Health and Human Services Department.